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Monday, February 6, 2012

Valentine's Day: Don't Let This Be You

Valentine’s Day…Chocolates, flowers, romantic dinners, sweet nothings, & everything in shades of red & pink. That’s what comes to mind when you think of this day. Every person wants to feel loved on Valentines Day, even if they receive something as simple as a homemade card. Even men are getting into Valentines Day more than they use to, till this day I still get something for Valentines Day from my daddy & now my nephew.

A few days ago a wise woman said to me, “I was married for 12 years and never received candy, flowers or even a dinner out on Valentine's Day. Don't let that be you!” It made me think of how my life is now compare to a few years ago. Today, I can honestly say that isn’t me, I feel so blessed to have a wonderful husband that does sweet things for me just because, whether it’s a holiday or not. But I have to admit, a few years ago, that was me. I was in a relationship for 3 years with someone that NEVER gave me anything for Valentines Day, or my birthday, or Christmas, or anything! 

There was always some lame excuse to why he didn’t do those things for me, till he just flat out didn’t care to even make one. I’ve heard all the excuses, from I had no money to buy you something (but yet, always had money for his cigarettes & beer), to they ran out of what I wanted to get you, & my favorite excuse…”I had no clue what today was.” I even made excuses for his excuses to make myself feel better and then just didn’t even look forward to Valentines Day, birthdays or Christmas.

I use to see everyone at work get something for Valentine’s Day, friends would call & text me to tell me what their significant other had surprised them with, & even though I would share these stories with my ex, he still didn’t care to change how he was. I would have even been happy with a homemade card, heck anything just to know that I was important to him, that he actually thought of doing something to make me feel special, but no, things just never changed, in fact they got worse.

If this is you, know you deserve better than that. There is no excuse for not making your loved one feel special on Valentines Day or any day for that matter. People like this do NOT change, no matter how hard you try to change them. Know your worth, be with someone that wants to make you feel special on Valentine’s Day or any day, someone like that does exist, its out there, you just have to move on from being with a jerk. Now that I know the difference and what it feels like to be special to someone, I get mad at myself for wasting so much time on someone like my ex. My husband & I were apart (deployed in Afghanistan) for our 1st Valentine's Day, but even though he was in another country, I still came home to roses, chocolates, & cuddly stuffed animals. If this man can make me feel special while he was on the other side of the world, the jerk full of excuses that you see daily can do the same.

So I’m passing those words of wisdom to you, DON’T LET THIS BE YOU! And to the men (and women) that don’t do anything special for there loved ones, I hope you shape up, stop being selfish, & change. Stop being a jerk & make your loved one feel special & appreciated. A homemade card with sweet words, a home cooked candlelit dinner, & a box of chocolates doesn’t cost much, plus you can always save up for these kinds of occasions. Heck, look online for things to do on Valentine's Day on a budget, there are plenty of ideas. 

I wish all of you a wonderful Valentine's Day, full of all the love, flowers, & chocolate to make your day one to always remember. <3